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| Why not?
My my it's 4am. So about every other day I get an email from xanga telling me that I have a subscription digest and let me tell you, Jen this is for you. I don't know how you managed to keep to xanga for the past I don't know how many years, but you did it and in my inspiration here I am typing on xanga at 4am like a pro. I edited this a year ago, there I am in that naruto costume that my friend gave me. Yes, I am playing magic, and yes it was fun.
I'm back at Santa cruz, and it's pretty alright. I'm living with Mitch who looks like Jesus/Kwi-gon Jin, i think tha'ts how you spell it, along with his girlfriend, Sarah. My grammar should still be terrible, but my writing should not so bad that you couldn't understand it. Well anyhow, I've decided to "blah" myself pretty hard this quarter. I'm currently taking 3 classes this summer session, and if you're not sure, yes it is a lot. All of them are upper division and I'm constantly Tired. Let me tell you I did not finish my homework for tomorrow, and I don't want to do it. To be honest, I"m just gonna do it in class and turn it in after class is over and say I kept on forgetting to bring it down. That's pro-status procrastination.
I finaly brought hte wii up, but I can't seem to find my copy of Wii boxing. I lost a ton of weight then I found out. Sad times. I guess I'll be working hard for that. I've had my roommates put a promise to me that by the end of the year that they'd put me back in the game after a disappearance from it for like 4 years. Ridicurous, I know. Apparently, Guitar Hero 3 skillz and the ability to number crunch 72 variables in a quarter of an hour upside down with a space pen doesn't do it. Don't worry, I decided to just use a pencil. To be honest, Santa cruz is kind of boring, I could use some company from people of the south, but what are you gonna do. Anyhow, it's getting later than I want it to be meaning that I'm going to sleep.
Good night y'all.
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| Talk about not keeping your promises. I don't even know when's the last time I blogged. Anyhow its' 4am and I thought it'd be a good time. Since I safely presume that no one reads this, I generally put thoughts in this that I wouldn't quite blurt out. Also, since I assume that people do read this, for whatever reason, I keep a few things out that I feel is just a bit too much.
So the year is ending. I'm feeling nervous about a few things. One of those thing is the fact that I missed one of my most recent classes and it just so happens that meeting was worth 1/5 of my grade. So I dunno. I could be in a bad position. I need to go to some sort of museum for my chicano history class, and that won't be too bad. I need to write my english paper for my english class, and I cant' seem to get a grade higher than a B on any of those paper. Man, they are just sucking I guess. And finally I need to do a paper for my Woman's history class which was due last week, but I didn't attend, because I woke up at 4pm that day. It shouldn't be too bad. I can't imagine anything going too far awry. I can't wait for school to be over. It's just a day I wait for every day, and everyday it's a little closer. I think I only have 2 finals. I might have 3, but I know one of the finals I"m taking in class on friday. I'm not quite prepared for it, so it's a good time to cram. English doesn't have a final. Chicano history has a 50 question multiple choice final. Woman's history will probably have a final, but I'm going to assume it won't be particularly difficult.
On a lighter note, I can't seem to get the Speed Racer song out of my head. For the record it was an awesome movie, and I plan to watch it at least once more in the movie theaters. It's just a must. For those of you who don't know, I play a game called Nexus: The kingdom. It's an MMO. Anyhow, it's been kind of taking over my life a little, but not enough that it's causing me to fail all my classes. I actually managed to do a lot of homework while playing, since in all of my classes I have to write papers and I idle a lot in game. In addition, I managed to meet this one really cute girl. Yeah I know, how pathetic is that to have a crush on a girl you've never met in person. At least I've facebooked her, and I'm glad to say she's really cute. Anyhow, no real problems there, except that I think she's friendzoned me.. TO THE MAX! It's kind of depressing really. My friends from up north have concluded that I seem to have some majestic ability to get friendzoned no matter what I do. If I' m a nice guy, obvious friend zone. If I'm a cocky bastard, friend zone. If I'm a jackass, FRIENDZONE?! The only reasonable thing I can conclude from this is that I have a friendly face! -mutters- while lacking the physical traits you would want from your dream man. Yeah I guess facebooking her was a poor decision, but hey I was curious if she was cute, and she searched me! It's sometimes unfortunate to have particularly rare names such as "Bryton." Anyhow to summarize this, she lives in a City near Santa Cruz, so I'll probably start hanging out with her in person when I go back up north next year, and if it comes down to it, I would like to ask her out, so I'll need to created an epic plan for that. If any of you come up with something, do tell me. Oh, by the way, I forgot to mention why I think I'm friendzoned! She has two main nicknames for me, "mododo" because my character's name is Modocon, and the other nickname is "Princess." yeah..... Pretty bad. She switches off between those two names and my real name pretty consistently. She only calls me princess because she knows it bothers me. Any insight on this will be useful. For the record, I will refer to this girl as "Gamer Girl" Quick lesson to the guys, if you're not interested, be a nice guy, you'll get friendzoned.
On a similar subject, there is another girl, which I will refer to as "marine girl." I actually met her through the game as well. We were hunting, she died, and I offered to assist her to get her stuff back. Apparently, this created a Knight in shining armour effect on her. Bad Bryton! What have you done?! We're married in game now, (in this game, getting married gets you a shit ton of benefits, like bosses because twice as easy, and you can create about triple the money if you know what you're doing). The thing is I"m getting worried about this because I dunno, she seems a bit too attached. She's 23, not asian, and lives in Washington (d.c) So I'm like there's no way a relationship outside this game will occur, but it seems like she actually has some type of emotional attachment toward me and it's freakin me out! I told the beer lady about this and her only response was "Bryton, you gonna get raped." yeah that's pretty much what it comes down to. So lesson to the guys, if you're not interested, don't be a nice guy, she'll never think about you ever.
I really don't know what else there is to cover. I have a few personal problems, but they're not so important and the ones that are important and secretive, I probably don't really want to share just yet. I'll tell you when I'm ready.
Oh wait, there is one more thing. I originally typed her, but I decided to delete it because it sounded it pretty terrible. It involved me sounding like a michael jackson, and I wasn't quite interested in having that kind of rep. one more week of school, it's gonna be good week next one coming.
I'll talk about the rest another day.
"Balance?! I don't need balance, I'm a physics major!"
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| Good Morning Everyone,
Dang, I can barely believe it's been almost 2 weeks since my last update. -bites nails- Well, off the top of my head I can't think of much that has happened. It's been a pretty good week. I don't have class tomorrow so hooray to that, but oh crap I missed class on Wednesday and I think there's some sort of paper I have to do by then. What a bitch....
Anyhow, I recently got to talk to my dad today. We talked about College. The thing is, a long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, I told my dad I didn't want to be an engineer. Why? Because I never really understood what exactly they did. Like over time, now that I"m in college, I fully understand what engineers do, and I tell you this right now, they're kind of badass. The thing is, I've already wasted 2 years of my life. I went from CS(with the intent to change) to Economics, to History. I hated Economics, but it wasn't as bad as CS, and I like history a lot. A lot more than Economics. But I would say that History is more of a hobby for me. I think I was trying to turn something I enjoy watching, my major.
I knew several years ago, what my true calling was, but I decided to go against this true calling of mine, because I felt that the world around me would hate me for answering it. At a young age, I knew that I wanted to make weapons. I wanted to design badass as weapons that kicked a lot of ass. The thing is, when you put it in context like that, everyone I knew got creepily afraid all of a sudden. Yeah, I understood why, so I kind of dropped that plan the year I entered HS. What use is doing what you love, if the whole world hates you? So ever since then, I've just been kind of trying to find things to fill my void. I entered CS, because robots are kind of cool, but I learned very quickly, that CS is not cool. I studied Economics, because talking money is something I always understood along with number crunching. I learned a lot about nuclear physics and thought I'd try that out. I quickly learned that the odds of me getting a nuclear physics degree were nil to none. In addition to that, it was pretty similar to my first goal, except instead of building weapons I would be building a new energy source that we could hopefully use and make the world a better place. My mom was always afraid that I would get kidnapped by terrorists if I took either job, although on a side note, it's not too hard to create a nuclear reactor. The nuclear element, "Thorium" can be found in several lamps that are part of camping arsenals. So I went to easier majors that I knew I could cover. I took Economics. But ya know what? I hate Economics. So I decided to focus on History. Lesson learned. I love history, but what do you do with a degree in history? Teach. I don't mind that. Law? I don't mind that. So it looks like I'm going to stick with history.
But today, I had a few good talks. One with my cousin and one with my dad. My cousin told me that, if something's stopping you from doing what you want, you have to just go through it. Like, I"m at a point where I kind of realized way too late that I wanted to study Mechanical engineering so I can build an awesome cannon, rifle, handgun, whatever. At this rate, I don't know if I wanna go into Mechanical Engineering or do I want stick with History. I think now would be a good time to take a year off of school and find out. Unfortunately, after wasting two years of college and pretty much completing half of my history major, it seems like I should finish my degree in history. This is when my dad told me, "It's better to waste two years of your life, than to waste your whole life." I got some thinking to do. Do I want to study Mechanical Engineering and build some of the most craziest things in the world, or do I want to settle with history. Good question.
Could I live with myself, knowing that I'm building things that were meant to kill other people. -fades to Hatori Hanzo- "Inventions were meant to better society, you can't control how bad people use your inventions though." The original weapon was meant to kill animals that were threats to humankind. It later was developed to kill one another. The original lightbulb was created so we can see in the darkness, but science fiction tells us that it will eventually be developed to shoot lasers. Unlikely, but that's what Sci-Fi tells us. (It was a joke, just a a bad one) It stands, I can make inventions that were meant to protect us, but I can't control bad people from using my inventions to hurt other people.
-fades to Ben Parker- With great power comes great responsibility. My dad tells me that if I were to become a history major, it would be a waste of my mathematical ability. I know he's right. I"m better at math than I ever will be in English or History or Economics or whatever else that exist. I know for a fact that I love physics beyond all reason, more specifically Newtonian Mechanics, "aka" the foundation of Mechanical engineering.
Alright time to find out what I'm gonna do with my life. Good night.
I'm gonna see if I can head out with my two favorite kids tomorrow.
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| Morning Everyone,
Sorry I haven't updated in the while. Over the past 2 days I actually wrote up really lengthy blogs, but decided not to put them up. The first one would've offended half the world, and I decided that this would go against my intentions on living long enough to see. The second one I put it was a little to, not awesome. So I'll just summarize my weekend like I normally would.
Well Friday was kind of alright. I'm starting to really hate that Woman's history class. The people in that class are so sexist, it's unbelievable. It's the only class I actually dread going to this semester. Pretty bad. After that I went to the National Qualifier for debaters. That was kind of enjoyable. I got to see my two favorite kids which haven't been around for a while for who knows what reason. If they read this for whatever reason, I'll always deny it. It's a Bryton thing. I ended up judging only three rounds, which is a little less than I probably should've, but I was kind of lazy, that and bad extemps make me angry. So there's this one girl that I've seen for the second time at debate. This random girl insist on playing the game whenever I'm around. I
don't know her name, or school. All I know is she knows the game, for
whatever reason she does... Weird girl. Well off the top of my head that's all I can really recall. I got home, watched "Breaking Vegas," a documentary the MIT blackjack team (There's a movie coming out on them, you should've seen the commercials by now) and crashed in the middle of it. I was pretty tired.
I woke up an hour later to my sister poking me for whatever reason. I think she wanted me to either A) Feed the dog, B) Take out the trash) or C) Cook food. None of which I would be able to do in that state. It could've really been anything though. After waking up, I was up for another hour and watched two. "A Cinderella Story" and "Around the world in 80 days." -brings out man card and passes it to the man to the right- Whatever. A Cinderella story's a good movie in my opinion, along with it's exceptional sound track. -Feels another man card disintegrate- Now before I lose anymore man cards that's enough for the night. After sleeping at 5am I got up the next day and went to lunch with my friend.
We got dim sum at 888. The food was meh. How do you not have "Siu mai" at a dim sum restaurant?! I was not too happy about. Next time we're going to another dim sum restaurant. Other than that having lunch with her was great. I always like hanging out with her. She kind of creates an aura of good vibe whenever I'm around her, mostly because she's a good friend of mine and a great supporter in my life. "She's like my main dude" So after that, I got home and began helping my brother getting ready for the party he was hosting that I wasn't planning to be at because I originally had plans that night. I ended up helping him get ready, and ended up staying. It was fun. They thought I emo'd up because I went upstairs in the middle to get some work done. I wanted to finish some schoolwork along with a few other things. I don't recall anything else
Sunday... was awful. I got up at around 3pm and there wasn't anything that I wanted to do. It was just an awful day. Didn't feel like doing anything causing me to be bored beyond all reason. It was frustrating. Today was just a rough day. You see, two weeks ago, I met this one girl who I found great interest in. She was a cute girl. Seemed pretty fun. Played pokemon! And was just nerdy enough. As Monica so eloquently put it, "You two are perfect for each other" That's probably an overstatement. Probably definitely an overstatement? Yeah. I managed to overthink it and ended up emoing up because of it. She wasn't interested. Welp! Yeah. That story didn't even come close to end well. Generally speaking I make it a point not to get attached to people because of scenarios like this. It makes loss a lot easier to get pass. Unfortunately I broke my rule this time, and ended up in my head getting attached to the girl. Bad Bryton. The problem is that the only way I can enter a level where I'm willing to ask a girl out, I have to first get somewhat attached to her. It's kind of my way to be monogamous. That's how you fail. That's how ya roll a 1 my good friends. Anyhow, I'm done ranting on that -puts on poker face-
I recently realized I'm growing up to end up more like Dr. Cox (From scrubs). For those of you who haven't seen the show, you should. It's a good show. I've become more and more cynical every day. There are people's company I enjoy, but then again, I've just become angry folk nowadays. So nowadays I just show anger on my shoulder now. It works out. No not really, but it's just become my way of doing things. Even though there's no real reason to do that, it's just become part of my nature. Anyhow that's the 78th time I've marathoned this show.
Dude its 4am and I'm very tired. Good night. I sure hope I'm not late for class.
~a name that's hardly readable~
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| Oh, there's more to rant. Over the past 2 years, I actually managed to get pretty awesome at magic. I built a Mono Green Aggro deck that was just awesome! There was a period in time, where I just didn't lose. That's kind of nerdy, but hey, it keeps me from going too far on tilt. Anyhow. That time has passed now. I now once again suck at magic. I blame that 6 month down time where I didn't play, look, and refused to hear any magic. Makes sense. I'm slowly getting back into the game, and I'm doing well IRL, but I'm getting my ass handed to me like every game OL. It's kind of depressing. Very very depressing. Standard is very fickle with me. I win enough so it makes me alright, but I just really suck at extended. I need a team to play with. You can't get better at anything if you never practice.
~Signature~
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